Sometimes we do fun things...

...like go to Arches National Park. To wit:

And it was awesome.

#FIF: Final Fantasy VII, Fanfiction, and How I Started Writing.

That's right, folks, it's time for another #FIF (Formative Influence Friday!). And today I'm covering none other than the one, the only, the legendary, the epic, the yes-it's-overhyped-but-I-still-love-it-video-game:

dun dun dun! And, yes, SPOILERS FOR FINAL FANTASY VII FOLLOW.

I'll be the first one to admit, my admiration of Final Fantasy VII is both romantic and nostalgic. Just thinking of FFVII takes me back to seventh grade, when I was a confused barely-teen who had nothing going for him socially, a voice that cracked more than Robert Downey Jr. (at the time) and shifted octaves more than Mariah Carey (re: weird puberty stuff), and no idea how to deal with any of it. There were some other things going on that contributed to my unhappiness, personally and in other relationships, but those things deserve entire posts unto themselves. Long story short: it was a sucky time in the land of Chris Husberg.

But, in a weird, twisted way, when I got my hands on FFVII, I found an escape from all that. So here's a caveat: my feelings for FFVII are clouded by the fact that the game essentially saved me from one of the worst parts of my growing-up. FFVII is the hero of my childhood. It provided me a distraction, a world where there were heroes and adventures and gigantic swords and dudes with long silver hair. So, I'm biased, and I know it.

Because let's be honest: FFVII, while it's popularity certainly endured more than any other FF (another topic on which entire essays could be written), isn't the best game around. Final Fantasy VI and Chrono Trigger have more developed characters (and FFVI has arguably the greatest villain of the entire FF series). Final Fantasy Tactics, perhaps tied with VI as my favorite Final Fantasy of all time (objectively speaking, subjectively, this post should make it obvious what my choice would be), told a phenomenal story with great twists and turns. And, of course, each subsequent FF has had exponentially better graphics, if nothing else.

I wasn't kidding. Dude's sword is RIDICULOUSLY LONG.
Compensating much, Sephy?

But, for me, there's just something about VII. A few things, actually. Sephiroth, for one. The original (for me) bad-ass villain. And he looks like a rockstar, too. The silver hair and ridiculously long katana are now video game icons. The epic struggle to save the planet. Gold Saucer and all the mini-games. Cloud's mysterious backstory. The love triangle. Aeris' unexpected sacrifice. Canons the size of cities
(wtf?). And, of course, giant swords that are so impractical it's ridiculous. All of it drew me in, and I was powerless to resist. Even as I've looked at the story and characters with older, more experienced eyes, and seen them for what they really are (um...sort of nonsensical, all over the place, and underdeveloped), my feelings haven't changed.

And, interestingly, I'm not the only one. FFVII remains the Final Fantasy with the strongest cult following by far. The intense popularity of the game has led to numerous spin-offs and even a CG movie (which is awful, by the way, but hell yes I saw it almost immediately and loved every minute of it ["dilly-dally shilly-shally"? WTF?]) or two--see the Wikipedia compilation of all things FFVII here.* I'll be the first to admit that such a cult following isn't entirely justified, and I'll also be the first to admit that I am deeply embedded in said cult following. Oxymoronic? Perhaps. But that's how it is.

But FFVII has more meaning to me than anything I've mentioned so far, and for one very important reason: Final Fantasy VII is what got me writing.

I don't want to give it too much credit; I was scribbling stories in composition notebooks when I was in the first grade. But I'd never really had a compulsive drive to tell a story, never had an undeniable, almost uncontrollable desire to explore characters, until I finished FFVII...and wanted more. I wasn't done with the characters. I wasn't ready to let them go (let's be honest--I wanted Aeris back). I've spoken of how I love things that depress me before, and FFVII may have been the original.

So, I entered the wonderful realm of fan fiction.

I mostly read the stuff, at first. Frank Verderosa's The Final Fantasy VII Internet Series is, I think, what got me started, and is really the only story that still stands out in my mind (it is pretty epic, even as far as fan fiction is concerned). I got most of my fixes from IcyBrian's wonderful RPG fanfic compilation website. Seriously, that place was a lifesaver for me, and I spent probably hundreds of hours reading stories posted there.

And, for me, just reading them eventually wasn't enough. I had to start writing them, too. So I started my own FFVII fan fiction series. I've scoured IcyBrian's site and I don't think that first one is up there anymore. I think he might have taken down all of the series that weren't finished...I only ended up submitting three or four chapters, until I got bored with that idea and started on a new *alternate history* version of FFVII (I was so innovative, wasn't I?). Got three or four chapters into that, and then I got bored again. (I was a discovery writer from the beginning!) Neither of those stories are on the site anymore that I can see (and the links to the fanfic areas of the site don't even seem to be working anymore, for that matter...sad), although I do still have hard copies of them. Perhaps, one day, I'll post them on the blog. We'll see. BUT...Brian must have liked what he'd seen from me, because he tapped me to participate in what he called the "Cold Fusion" project. Essentially it was a group-written novel with zero collaboration (Brian facilitated this by making sure the authors did not know who each other were or contact one another at all, keeping the names secret until the next chapter had already been posted). So...if you are interested in reading what I wrote back in 1998ish about FFVII, look up Conor McCloud (my pen name at the time...so I guess technically there's no way to verify that it was me who wrote the chapter, you'll just have to take my word for it) in the Cold Fusion part of the website. Or just follow this link, if you dare. And please, be kind. I was young, people (the title is mine, too, by the way--Ghosts of the Past, Phantoms of the Future--I thought I was pretty clever...lol).

So, anyway, that is the single most influential thing FFVII did for me: it got me writing. Story-wise, it's mediocre. It's characters are flashy on the outside, but have less substance than I prefer to admit. But something about that story drew me in, saved me from adolescent hell, and made me want more. Interestingly, at the time I would have killed for the spin-off games and movies and so forth that exist surrounding FFVII now--but, at the time, all I had was a fan fiction website and my own brain. So I made due.

I'm so glad I did, because I think it was one of the truest things to myself that I've ever done.



* I'll be honest, I'm sort of a purist where VII is concerned, though. I've seen Advent Children and read the plot synopses of a few other related FFVII stuff, but for the most part, I'm all about the original game**. I haven't felt the need to pursue the other material; for me, the original game is enough. And I actually think that is sort of a high compliment.

** Speaking of the original game, there were rumors of a remake of FFVII for the PS3 when the system first came out, mostly based around a technical demo for the system, embedded below. Now that the PS4 is just gaining popularity, rumors once again abound of a remake. I'm cautiously optimistic. I honestly doubt one will be made, but let me be the first to say it (or probably not the first, but whatever): if they remake FFVII for the PS4, I'll but a PS4 immediately if only to play that game. Because it will be amazing. (Or it won't...but it'll sure take me back.)

Why Endings We Deserve are Better than Endings We Need

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR THE HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER (HIMYM) SEASON FINALE ABOUND. THIS IS A POST ABOUT ENDINGS, PEOPLE, SPOILERS ARE AN INEVITABILITY.

Ok. Long story short: I really loved the HIMYM finale.

But I'll expound a little. So Twitter and Facebook and my wife have been blowing up about how sad the finale was, how much everyone didn't like it, etc. And you know what? It was sad, I'll give you that, and in more ways than one. There were some twisty things happening.

But it was the ending that needed to happen.

Now, let me back up a bit. My favorite endings aren't the ones that always end happy. They aren't the ones that always end sad, either. My favorite endings are the ones that the stories deserve. (I'm stealing from The Dark Knight there, and in the title, in case you're wondering.)

Let me explain.

For me, writing is an organic process. Characters become pretty real to me when I'm writing a story. They have wants, desires, goals, needs, emotions, etc. I could go into more detail but then you'd think I'm schizophrenic and that's a whole other thing so we won't go there. Anyway, by proxy, the story I'm writing develops these same needs, too. The world I'm creating, the rules of the 'verse I'm toying with, as it were, evolve as I go along. And the further along I go, the more important it is I stick to the rules of said 'verse.

It's important to note here that I'm talking about rules in a pretty abstract sense. I'm talking generalities, here. I'm talking about staying true to the tone of the work at hand.

What are some (sort of) recent examples of having a great, surprising ending that still sticks to the tone of the work, you ask? Sure: The video game The Last of Us, for one (have I mentioned how amazing this game is? It is AMAZING.) TLOU was bleak and horrifying, and the ending was bleak and horrifying, and it still managed to surprise me. And it was awesome. Joe Abercrombie's The Last Argument of Kings, the third book in his First Law Trilogy, does a wonderful job of this, too. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Dark Knight--they all stay true to their respective tones, while still managing to surprise me in the process.

Some stories don't do this. It isn't necessarily a deal breaker for me, but it always hurts my impression of the story. The TV shows Lost and the reimagining of Battlestar Galactica both suffered because of their endings. The endings were emotionally satisfying, which I appreciated, but as far as I'm concerned strayed from what the stories were about the whole time. They felt more like wish fulfillment, or emotional pandering, than appropriate endings.

Maybe I'm being too relativistic about this. Different people interpret different stories different ways. That's fine. But, as a writer, I'm particularly sensitive to this kind of thing, and at least for me, good endings stick to the tone of the story. The best endings manage to surprise me while they're at it.

HIMYM's series finale did that.

Don't get me wrong. I was devastated by a few things that happened. Barney and Robin getting divorced, for one. And, of course, the reveal that Future-Ted is telling this story to his kinds after the Mother has already passed away. Those were awful revelations. But (1) they were well-handled in the story, and (2) they allowed the finale to surprise me.

And hey, things could have been worse. Since the episode "Time Travelers" (8:?) aired I've been terrified that the finale would end with Ted telling his kids this whole story because their mom just died (seriously go watch the last five minutes of "Time Travelers" and you'll see what I mean*). That would have been an awful ending. "Wait, that was the ending," some of you are saying. No, it wasn't. That ending would have put Ted, who seriously has been through the romantic ringer on this show, on the lowest note possible at the end of the series, and that would have been awful. Instead, yeah, the Mother dies, and that is terrible. I get knots in my chest just thinking about it. But...there's a silver lining. Ted doesn't have to end up alone. And despite the title of the show, despite the frame story, HIMYM has never been about the Mother. It's been about Ted's journey to become the person he is when he meets the Mother. Because that's what the story has always been about, we can accept the Mother's death, that Ted handled it with grace, and that now he has a chance at happiness once more. He doesn't have to watch his kids grow up alone. He has Robin.

And that whole idea that this story isn't about the Mother is the point I'm making. Ted's kids are right: How I Met Your Mother really wasn't about how Ted met the kids' mother. The last season counts as that, I think, and a few other random bits (Umbrella, Cindy, etc.). But here's the thing. In the pilot episode, Ted meets Robin. The following 8 seasons are about how Ted and Robin (and kind of Barney) deal with the ups and downs of their relationship. Ted found happiness with other people--most significantly Tracy, the Mother. Robin found happiness with other people--most significantly Barney. But the kids are right. And Robin and Ted end up together.

HIMYM has been criticized for beating the Ted-Robin relationship to death, especially in later seasons. Hinting at the continued potential relationship between the two of them brought some significant flak to the show. Even during this last season there were moments where the Ted and Robin relationship still seemed possible. The episode "sunrise" was a great red herring along those lines, by the way. But this finale makes all of that stuff between Ted and Robin worth it. This finale shows why the writers could never quite leave that relationship alone.

So while this ending was a shocker, and while this ending was sad, it was exactly the ending HIMYM deserved.

So, that's it. The kids are right.

Oh, and Marshall wins the bet. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Lil.


BONUS! My favorite moments of the How I Met Your Mother Series Finale:

• GRAPE SCOTCH!
• ET Goodbye
• High Infinity
• Alison Hannigan. Just...Alison Hannigan.
• Cockamouse!
• Lily as the White Whale
• Judge Fudge
• "I can see that."
• Barney Meets Ellie
• The Second Proposal (seriously, I could not imagine a better Mother than Cristin Miliotti)
• "All kinds of stuff."
• T.M.
• Smurf Penis.

* Full disclosure: "The Mother is Dead" theory has apparently been around for at least a year, although I didn't know that until after the Finale when I was scouring the internetz like a crazy person.

Goodbye, World...

...at least for a few days. Because this is happening:

Also, no, I am not actually holding this book up with only one hand, that is an optical illusion. Because srsly that is impossible.

#FIF: THE REAPERS ARE THE ANGELS

If I had to choose an all-time favorite novel, Alden Bell's The Reapers are the Angels just might be it. Really, that's all that needs to be said.*

But I'll say more anyway.

I mentioned The Reapers are the Angels (we'll call it TRATA for short) in a post a couple years ago in which I geeked out a bit over everything zombie. If anything, my feelings for the book have only grown since then. I've actually been meaning to do a reread of it, but I've been so busy reading and writing other things that I haven't gotten around to it. (Which, incidentally, is another testament to the awesomeness of this book. I rarely, if ever, reread anything. There is so much out there I want to yet read, it is impossible to justify. But there are a few exceptions, and TRATA is one of them.)

The narrative centers around a young girl, Temple. In a lot of ways, TRATA is your typical zombie post-apocalypse story: Temple fends off the dead. She also fends off humans, and one who is hunting her in particular. But it's a coming of age type story, too. And it's about miracles. And the language. You'd never think a zombie apocalypse novel could be beautiful, but guys...The Reapers are the Angels is beautiful.

On something of a side note, I recently played The Last of Us, a PS3 game that takes place in a post-apocalyptic, zombie-like world. And that game is surprisingly similar in tone to TRATA. If you liked one, I think you'll like the other. The Last of Us deserves a post unto itself, so hopefully I'll get around to that--in fact, an update on my zombie post from a couple years ago might be due. Zombie media has changed significantly even in just the past few years, and it might be interesting to talk about how.

The Reapers are the Angels is exactly the kind of story I love to read, and it's exactly he kind of story I want to write. I mean, I like zombies, so it's cool that this book has zombies in it. But what I love most is that it's about a character, and it examines closely that character and her role in the world around her. It presents a fascinating setting, but manages to make me truly care for Temple. And it makes me feel things. Like, emotions and stuff. Books that do that, at least for me, are kind of few and far between. Zombie books (or TV shows, or movies, for that matter) are even more rare. So, seriously...this one's a keeper.

Ok, and want to know the best part about writing this post? In checking out Alden Bell's website, I've just discovered that there's a sequel to TRATA. Exit Kingdom. Guys. This is amazing. AND I'M GOING TO GO BUY IT AND READ IT IMMEDIATELY.

You should, too.



* Because picking a favorite author, let alone a favorite book, is nigh impossible for just about any writer. Seriously, ask one. It really is. But, gun to my head, TRATA just might be the title I whisper. Definitely makes my top 5 favorite novels, in any case.

FORMATIVE INFLUENCE FRIDAY! (#FIF) - Chris Van Allsburg (or: KAFKA FOR KIDS)

First of all, as you can probably tell, I'm trying out a new format. No big changes, but I've added a picture to the banner (that really has nothing to do with anything except the fact that I enjoy being outdoors and if you use your imagination I could totally be shooting a bow in that picture), and done some color scheme tweaks. I can't say I love the blue, but the red was starting to grate. For now, I think it's a good change. We'll see what I think in a couple weeks.

Secondly, today shall henceforth be known as the day in which I began the weekly FORMATIVE INFLUENCE FRIDAY! I know, I know, could I think of a more boring name for anything ever? Probably not. That's why from here on out I'll pretty much always refer to it as FIF. Maybe even #FIF, because #hashtags are #awesome and #totallynotoutofstyleyet. But here's the thing: I've been meaning to talk about books, movies, and other media that I've always thought were awesome and have shaped me as a writer for some time, now, and what better way than this? Basically I'll just jump around the list on my Formative Influences page, eventually talking about each entry. Also, it'll be motivation for me to blog a bit more consistently, which is a good thing. I think. And, hey, maybe you'll learn something. Maybe I'll learn something, for that matter.

First up: Let me tell you about Chris Van Allsburg.

Basically, he's the man. As in he is really cool and if you haven't read any of his books, you should immediately because (1) they're children's books so they won't take much time, (2) they're beautifully illustrated, and (3) they are fascinating and creepy and even dark sometimes and I love them.

Believe it or not, many of you have probably already been introduced to Mr. Allsburg's work through the feature film Jumanji. Behold the trailer:



Yeesh. Were all trailers so long back then? Also, that was twenty years ago, almost. Weird. Also, yes, that is Kirsten Dunst. Anyway, the movie isn't awful, but Allsburg's book is better. If you don't recognize Jumanji, you'll almost certainly recognize The Polar Express, also based on an Allsburg book. And while both Jumanji and The Polar Express were solid Allsburg books, neither were my favorites. I preferred books like

The Garden of Abdul Gasazi, about a boy who stumbles into massive garden of eerily sculpted topiary trees--a garden with a dark secret.  Or

The Sweetest Fig, about a man who discovers figs that make dreams come true. He spends months studying dreams in an attempt to eat one of the figs on the perfect night, only to have his plans go tragically wrong. But then there's

The Wretched Stone, in which a ship finds a strange glowing stone on a remote island, a stone that the crew obsesses over, staring at it day in and day out (a thinly veiled but accurate metaphor for children watching television all the time).

And that's just naming a few. What I love most about Allsburg's work was the creepiness of it all. They were all children's stories, so nothing too crazy, but he still managed to create this eerie sense of worlds in which anything could happen. He paints fantastical places with both words and pictures. And, perhaps most of all, I loved how each of his stories made me think afterwards. There was always a mystery not quite answered, another hinted question behind the conclusion, that kept me thinking for days and weeks on end. For a little boy who loved imagining, there was hardly anything better. Allsburg's stories aren't hopeless, but they're certainly cautionary; and while perhaps not quite grotesque, they have their fair share of the absurd. Looking back, Allsburg's stories seems a strange precognitive echo of the effects Kafka would have on me much later.

So, if you haven't read Chris Van Allsburg, go read him. Now. Immediately. Read him to your kids, especially if you want them to just shut up and think for a few minutes (which is, I'm now realizing, a large reason my parents probably gave/read them to me...). Basically, Chris Van Allsburg is Kafka for kids. And that is freaking awesome.

LTUE 2014

LTUE was great. I really think it's one of the best conventions in Utah. Great panels, great panelists, well organized, great community. I was able to meet a lot of people this year, including Larry Correia, Eric James Stone, and L.E. Modesitt Jr.; Megan who owns a sweet bookstore down in Cedar City, and Dawn Ray who reads 500 books a year, and tons of others, and of course caught up with some old friends in the area.

I also told Brandon Sanderson that I just signed with JABberwocky (which may or may not have come out of my mouth as follows: ZOMG BRANDON YOU ARE AMAZING GUESS WHAT I SIGNED WITH JABBERWOCKY SO WE ARE LIKE AGENCY BROTHERS WE SHOULD TOTES DO BROTHERLY THINGS LIKE BUILD PILLOW FORTS AND PLAY VIDEO GAMES AND TOTES HANG OUT ALL THE TIME CUZ TOTES ZOMG) and he was over the moon about it. No, really, he was actually excited! He loves to hear success stories from old students, and it was cool to let him know the good news.

My notes from LTUE this year were mostly through my twitter account, and many awesome things were said, including but not limited to the following:

"When your tire blows, you don't talk about the other three that worked perfectly, you bitch about the flat one" @mbcollings #LTUE #endings
— Christopher Husberg (@usbergo) February 13, 2014

That was Michaelbrent Collings on endings--basically saying that readers remember endings, even if they forget everything else, so the ending better be amazing. Which isn't to say that other parts of the story aren't important, but, like tires, they should do their freaking job.

"Efforts aren't worth shit unless they yield results. Entertainment comes first." L.E. Modesitt throws down a pretty hefty gauntlet. #LTUE
— Christopher Husberg (@usbergo) February 13, 2014

L.E. Modesitt, Jr. was a freaking rockstar--definitely one of my favorite panelists this year. And, as previously mentioned, I had the pleasure of meeting him! So that was a thing and it was cool. I think the above quote went more along the lines of "'Efforts' aren't worth a damn if you write like shit." Basically, putting effort into your writing is meaningless unless you are actually entertaining people while you're at it. That isn't to say writers don't have room to grow, improve their craft, etc., but they have to put their effort into the right places. Modesitt's 64th book (Rex Regis, I believe), was just released a month ago, and he's been in the business for about thirty years. That's two books a year, for thirty years. That kind of consistency is worth its weight in gold, and definitely something I aspire towards. Like I said, a freaking rockstar.

"Emotion isnt drama; emotion is the result if drama. If youre adding emotion to up the drama, youre doing it wrong." -Clint Johnson #LTUE
— Christopher Husberg (@usbergo) February 14, 2014

Clint Johnson, in a fantastic panel on creating drama in fiction.

"You've got to learn to be your own best critic. The sooner you learn that, the better a writer you'll be." L.E. Modesitt #LTUE
— Christopher Husberg (@usbergo) February 15, 2014

And another gem from Mr. Modesitt. And a good note to end on, actually. Long story short: LTUE was great. And you should totes go next year.