Wednesday, October 01, 2014

Head Shots*

So, my agent asked me yesterday whether I had an "author photo." I briefly panicked, responded that I did not, and then scoured my Facebook photos and the photos on my hard drive for anything that might pass as a head shot. Turns out I take very few photos of myself, alone, that are remotely serious or professional in nature. The following are what I came up with:

This one was actually cropped from one of my engagement photos with Raych. So, in addition to now being deprived of the best part of the photo, it's also, like, 7.5 years old. Otherwise it was a pretty good option. Notice the very natural, effortless, not-awkward-at-all way in which I am diagonal.

Ok, I actually love this picture. Look at that eyebrow. Botox accident? Dwayne Johnson impression?** Who knows. But, again, this picture is just as old as the previous one, and I'm just not that same little boy anymore.

So I sent this to my agent as more of a joke, but he didn't comment on it so maybe he thought I was serious? Who knows. Also, I'm trying really hard not to pun on the "joke" and "serious" parts of that previous sentence. Must...resist...punnage...

Um, because I'm awesome, and top hats are totally in right now. As are blurry photographs.

Also more of a joke (because who DOESN'T want to think their favorite author is a a white walker???). But, even if it wasn't all weird and inverted, color-wise, it's got me with long hair. And I ain't got long hair no mo. :'-(
As you can see, the first batch I sent my agent was abysmally*** slim pickings. Unsurprisingly, he asked if there was anything else. So I took the following improvised selfie:

The resolution isn't that great, and I find this photo unsubtly ironic  in many ways (even if only to myself), but it's a good representation of the current Me, and isn't awful. 
So, yeah, that's my temporary author photo. (No need to panic--this photo won't actually go in any books, it's just something my agency needed on-file for some stuff.) On the to-do list now, of course, is to get one professionally done. I can only imagine that being awkward. To me it just sounds like taking school photos all over again, and to that I say: ick.

* Not FPS shooter head shots, mind you, or the type of shot that kills zombies. Just photos, people.

** Full disclosure: I stole both of those jokes from Facebook comments. ...thanks, Aunt Jeanne. And Dad. (No, seriously, look:)

*** "Abysmally" is one of those words that suddenly becomes hilarious when you look at it long enough. Amiriteoramirite?

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